Archive for July, 2008

mountain bike activity better than sex


It came as a revelation to me but mountain biking is better than sex ! I was recently told by my outdoors health and fitness freak friend Mark. I know you do Activity Breaks – do you have any deals on mountain biiking anywhere he asked? I get such a buzz out of it I can’t tell you… Well I fixed him up with a selection of activity breaks which I thought might be even more of an adrenalin rush –  Surfing and Coasteering in Newquay,  Mountain Biking in the Lakes or Quads and Honda Pilots in Perthshire–  but better than sex ..well ! Share with me ..the activity you prefer to Sex..


bed and breakfast on the way to leeds festival


My sons mate Craig called me from Kent. Dave tells me you have access to Bed & Breakfast deals ? I am going to Leeds Festival and need a stop over en route- you know my car will only travel 50 miles in one go before it breaks down so thought it wise to break the journey! Aware that he had recently spent 15 hours in a motorway services awaiting recovery I had some sympathy. Ok so where did you have in mind –  how about the Northampton area? I suggested 2 places to stay  Yew Tree Farm – Milton Keynes , The Different Drummer Hotel – Milton Keynes and  he went for the latter – at least he will be near civilisation and a garage! Do you have horror stories about horrendous breakdown journeys…do post back and let me know.

some of the black stuff in Dublin …


My beer monster mate called full of excitement…work are sending me over to Dublin for a few days he practically salivated down the phone!! Are they quite insane I asked, do they know about your beer fetish. I am not that bad he argued weakly.. anyway can you help me with somewhere to stay. Ideally in the centre of Dublin close to all the genuine Guinness pubs. As it happens I just got a great deal this week for the Clarion Hotel – it is only 10 mins crawl from O’ Connell St –  4 star so a good standard and only £62.75 per person sharing a room. Perfect he said can you sort it …. by the way do they serve Guinness !!…

young lovers need privacy for dirty weekend


My teenage sons friends nabbed me the other day. You have something to do with hotels they queried?
Mmmm said I ? Well we want somewhere to stay in London for a night in October when Dean gets back from his army training. OK I said London is not cheap though, shall I just look for somewhere simple like a fairly central Travelodge. Perfect they said, we may stay two nights if we can get a better deal. I found a choice of 3 Travelodges for them to choose from all reasonably priced and fairly central – The Travelodge Farringdon – close to Kings Cross, The Travelodge – Marylebone and The Travelodge –  London City Road.

oxford street sales shopping break


My clothes mad mate Kate called …..have you seen the amount of great clothes and bargains in the summer sales !! I fancy a trip to hit Oxford St do you have any hotel deals available? Absolutely how about The Cumberland – quite the coolest hotel in the area, right at The Marble Arch end of Oxford St and on special offer you can SAVE 25% at weekends or there is The Royal Lancaster only a few minutes walk away from Oxford St. with weekend savings of over 20%.

hotel room needed for bit on the side


My serial womaniser friend called me on a mission. You know how it is he said, I have to find a place to go with my latest conquest away from prying eyes. Why do you always go for the married ones I asked?  Safer he said no need for commitment.

I really do not want to know I said you are impossible! I presume I probably know her poor husband so I will just sort out a room and turn a blind eye, the less I know the better.

How much do we need to impress is this a first time push the boat out job or a cheap and cheerful no need to impress any more thing? The former he said I need a suite , champagne etc, you know the deal. How about Rudding Park Hotel, HarrogateThe De Vere Oulton Hall just outside Leeds or Wood Hall Hotel & Spa at Wetherby.

houses of parliament tour for political bigwig !


My neighbour and newly appointed parish councillor rang me very serious…now that I have entered the world of politics I really think I need to understand more about the country’s political system, Houses of Parliament Tour package deal which includes and overnight stay and the tour or just get you some Houses of Parliament Tour tickets I said, which do you prefer?

family seaside break in blackpool in august


My favourite family rang me today , we want to take the kids to the seaside in August for a treat and fancy Blackpool can you recommend anywhere suitable? As it happens I said I have just picked up a great deal SAVING over 30 % at the Big Blue Hotel, a great location just next door to the Pleasure Beach – sounds perfect said Dave lets go ahead and book. I also have loads of smaller B & B’s I said, how about Lynbar Guest House, or Sunnydale  No its fine I like the sound of the Big Blue Hotel said Dave, the bigger and bluer the better!!

love nest near York for sex starved parents


My mate Darren rang me, now I don’t quite know how to put this he said but Sal and I need some prvicay and I wondered about booking a nearby hotel for the night! Ah you mean nookie away for the kids I ventured? Just so he said! I’m not sure what is worst when they are little and coming into bed between you every night of when they are old enough to know what oohs and ahs mean and are still up when you go to bed every night !! Ok I said somewhere 20/30 minutes drive away and doesn’t have to be too glam then ? Travelodges are pretty ideal i said to be honest how about Express by Holiday Inn or  The Tavelodge York.

york races ladies day – somewhere to stay in york


A friend of a friend Lizzie rang to ask for advice ” there are a group of us going to big it up and go to ladies day at york races all posh frocks, high heel shoes and frills. I fancy booking a place to stay so we can finish the day in style with an evening in York without having to worry about a 40 mile journey home – any ideas?

I have loads of hotels, guest houses etc normally but on ladies day york will be chocka – let me see… I came up with the travelodge and the kexby gateway hotel on the outskirts, a short taxi ride away. Rooms will go like hot cakes though so make up your mind quick I advised.