Archive for the ‘dirty weekends’ Category

Who says that romance is dead ? My chum from Cheshire rang…I see you have 5% off cottages at the mo and I fancied an energetic weekend under the duvet !! Do you have any nice one bedroom cottages within a couple of hours drive where I can get away for a long weekend and  with a rather gorgeous hunky new man I have found and also save myself 5%. I fancy shag pile carpets, bare  skin rugs (pun intended) a roaring log fire and lots of ……FINE I stopped her in her tracks I get the picture.

It came as a revelation to me but mountain biking is better than sex ! I was recently told by my outdoors health and fitness freak friend Mark. I know you do Activity Breaks - do you have any deals on mountain biiking anywhere he asked? I get such a buzz out of it I can’t tell you… Well I fixed him up with a selection of activity breaks which I thought might be even more of an adrenalin rush -  Surfing and Coasteering in Newquay,  Mountain Biking in the Lakes or Quads and Honda Pilots in Perthshire-  but better than sex ..well ! Share with me ..the activity you prefer to Sex..

My teenage sons friends nabbed me the other day. You have something to do with hotels they queried?
Mmmm said I ? Well we want somewhere to stay in London for a night in October when Dean gets back from his army training. OK I said London is not cheap though, shall I just look for somewhere simple like a fairly central Travelodge. Perfect they said, we may stay two nights if we can get a better deal. I found a choice of 3 Travelodges for them to choose from all reasonably priced and fairly central - The Travelodge Farringdon - close to Kings Cross, The Travelodge - Marylebone and The Travelodge -  London City Road.

My serial womaniser friend called me on a mission. You know how it is he said, I have to find a place to go with my latest conquest away from prying eyes. Why do you always go for the married ones I asked?  Safer he said no need for commitment.

I really do not want to know I said you are impossible! I presume I probably know her poor husband so I will just sort out a room and turn a blind eye, the less I know the better.

How much do we need to impress is this a first time push the boat out job or a cheap and cheerful no need to impress any more thing? The former he said I need a suite , champagne etc, you know the deal. How about Rudding Park Hotel, Harrogate,  The De Vere Oulton Hall just outside Leeds or Wood Hall Hotel & Spa at Wetherby.

My mate Darren rang me, now I don’t quite know how to put this he said but Sal and I need some prvicay and I wondered about booking a nearby hotel for the night! Ah you mean nookie away for the kids I ventured? Just so he said! I’m not sure what is worst when they are little and coming into bed between you every night of when they are old enough to know what oohs and ahs mean and are still up when you go to bed every night !! Ok I said somewhere 20/30 minutes drive away and doesn’t have to be too glam then ? Travelodges are pretty ideal i said to be honest how about Express by Holiday Inn or  The Tavelodge York.

My mate SJ has not had a man since the start of the millennium according to her! So imagine my surprise when she called me today to arrange a dirty weekend in Edinburgh. I have finally found a chap I want to do it with  she enthused and he works and lives in Scotland. Convenient I said when you live in Leeds but hey !  I want a really swish hotel centrally located with funky themed rooms in case we want to get kinky - too much information - handcuffs and whips whirling through my brain. I sorted her out with The Scotsman - one of the nicest central hotels I know and gave her the address of the nearest adult gifts shop and wished her well. Do you have advice for SJ to make her dirty weekend go with a bang? Do post back but keep it clean.!!